Woodland Drifter
by Dark Shikari
Summary: Haruhi Suzumiya decides to go camping. Unfortunately for those she drags along, the trip doesn't turn out exactly as expected.


**I wrote this story using my usual writing method: type really fast until I'm done and then spend five minutes editing the result. By doing this, I somehow churned out this entire story in about three hours. I tried to stay relatively true to the original writing style, though I admit my metaphors are not nearly as colorful as the original author's. The fact that I wrote this all after midnight probably didn't help either. Anyways, enjoy "Woodland Drifter." **

It was a warm spring day.

I sat in the SOS Brigade clubroom pondering why I continued to return to that place again and again despite it involving me in nothing but trouble. Those thoughts had little chance to coalesce, however, as the door flew open and none other than Haruhi stood in the doorway, grinning like a crazed Cheshire cat.

"We are going camping this weekend!"

Haruhi said excitedly, slamming her hand on the table.

Was this Koizumi's suggestion, or did Haruhi come up with this one all on her own? With Yuki being the only other person in the room, the job of dissuading her seems to have fallen upon my shoulders--as if I had any chance of success.

"Why camping? And where will you get the equipment?"

Haruhi stared at me as if the answer was obvious.

"Because interesting things always happen in the wilderness! The plucky hero's plane crashes, leaving him stranded with nothing but a hatchet, and he builds himself a home in the wilderness while he waits for rescue! The equipment's already taken care of, by the way; Tsuruya loaned us everything we'll need, including tents for each of us!"

So this has already been decided upon without me. Figures. Let's just hope Haruhi doesn't decide to make this "getting stranded" a reality.

"Why the down face? Come on, it'll be exciting! Maybe we'll be attacked by a bear or something!"

Haruhi mimed what appeared to be her vision of a bear attack.

I attempted to show some enthusiasm, but given the events of the the skiing trip last winter it was difficult to avoid being worried, especially when her idea of fun consisted of being mauled by wild animals.

"Have you decided where we're going to camp, then?"

A nuclear reactor gone supercritical, Haruhi's excitement never seems to wane once she's started.

"Of course! Koizumi told me about this great place in the forest, isolated from everywhere! There shouldn't be anyone else at the campsite--it'll be perfect!"

At that moment, Mikuru walked in the room. I took the chance to gaze at her for a moment, but I was interrupted mere seconds later as Koizumi entered with his usual cheery expression.

"So, Kyon, ready for the camping trip?"

So it seems he knew about Haruhi's plans in advance after all. Why am I always the last one to hear about such things?

"Well, I--

Haruhi interrupted me with her sharp voice and pointing finger before I could answer his question.

"Koizumi, you promised that you'd go collect the camping equipment from Tsuruya's place. Kyon, go with him and help him out."

I guess that was an order. Koizumi cheerfully accepted, of course.

"Of course. We'll bring the van, too."

Koizumi definitely wanted to discuss something with me. He dragged me out of the room and shut the door as we began walking towards the exit.

"I knew you'd be curious about this camping trip. No, we didn't plan this one in advance like the island trip. This was entirely Haruhi's idea."

He certainly seemed much less excited about the prospect now that we were out of Haruhi's sight.

"Are you sure this is such a good idea? Her idea of a fun trip seems to be one where we end up stranded in the wilderness."

"There is always the risk, of course. But once Haruhi has decided on something, as you well know, it is very difficult to dissuade her. Honestly, a camping trip isn't exactly a bad idea. It will keep her occupied."

Koizumi, optimistic as usual. Though he does have a point; Haruhi's camping trip has gone from an idea to an inevitability in mere minutes, leaving us with little choice but to go along.

-

We arrived at the campsite in the late afternoon. Though Tsuruya had donated the equipment, she had other plans and could not come on the trip, leaving the job of keeping Haruhi under control to me, Koizumi, and Yuki. We emptied the van and the driver bid us farewell as the vehicle drove off. The plan was to have the van pick us up the morning of the next day.

"Unpack, unpack, unpack! We have to get these tents set up before nightfall!"

Haruhi, as always, was giving all the orders and doing none of the work. Yuki hammered in the stakes with machine-like efficiency as Koizumi and I held the tents. After relentless commands by Haruhi, all four tents were in place. I began to feel somewhat hungry as the night approached.

"So, Haruhi, what plans did you make for dinner?"

She responded with a devious grin as she dashed towards the pile of equipment brought in by the van.

"Every camping trip has to have a grill!"

Haruhi unpacked a small portable grill. In what seemed like mere seconds the device was already set up, the gas lit, and kabobs cooking on it. That girl sure knows how to move when she wants to.

"We're going to sleep early tonight! That way we can wake up early and see the stars after the moon has set and before the sun rises!"

It appears our schedule for the trip had already been laid out. Her plan didn't sound too bad; after all, I hadn't had a good chance to see a starry night's sky away from the light pollution of the city for years. Hopefully I'll still remember all the constellations I used to have memorized.

"Oh, one more thing I forgot. We need a fire!"

I shuddered at the thought of Haruhi as a pyromaniac.

"But isn't a fire usually for cooking? We already have a grill."

My response, not surprisingly, didn't phase her the least. Again, Haruhi gave me her classic "are you an idiot?" expression.

"You always need a fire when you camp, stupid! It keeps the wild animals away and keeps you warm at night."

But I thought she had previously said it would be cool to see a bear? Not to mention that we're all going to be in sleeping bags anyways; the heat from a fire would be meaningless. But logic cannot dissuade Haruhi when she has made a decision.

"Mikuru, you go gather tinder, to start up the fire! Kyon, be useful, find some big sticks to make the fire with. Yuki, get us some rocks to surround the fire pit!"

It had not been long since we had finished setting up our campsite and we were already at work again carrying out Haruhi's bidding.

As I began to search the area for fuel for the fire, I finally had a chance to examine the surroundings more carefully. It was clear this was not a popular campsite despite the road access; there was no sign of any previous fire or anything else that would indicate prior campers. Of course this made my job of collecting sticks that much easier. Yet something struck me as odd about the pristine nature of our location.

After a few minutes of searching I had my arms full of sticks, which I dumped in the middle of Yuki's fire pit, which had already begun to take shape. Unfortunately Mikuru, though desperately trying to help, was doing little more than just dumping leaves on the fire pit.

Haruhi was undoubtedly to be the one to light the fire. I was collecting more sticks when I turned around to see her playing with a lighter.

"And here we go!"

Haruhi seemed to touch every corner of the pile with the lighter, as if one ignition point wasn't enough. In only seconds, the sticks went up in a pillar of flame.

This fire didn't look like it would last more than an hour at most, but Haruhi didn't seem to care.

"Haruhi, the kabobs look like they're done."

Koizumi's keen eye saved us the trouble of eating a burnt dinner.

"Done already? That was fast."

Haruhi shut off the grill. After a waiting a few minutes for the food to cool, we each took a kabob and eagerly devoured the food.

-

Night had fallen. A full moon kept the forest somewhat lit, though the leaves obscured it partially.

"Time to hit the sack! Don't worry if you don't wake up early enough, I'll make sure everyone gets up on time!"

We all reluctantly headed off to our tents.

-

I awoke to a tug on my collar from Haruhi.

I rolled over, my weary eyes opening. Come on, it couldn't possibly be morning already.

My vision cleared, and suddenly I realized something was very wrong. It wasn't Haruhi who awoke me--it was Koizumi. And my clock read 1:21 AM.

"Wha... what's going on?"

"We have a problem, Kyon."

Not this shit again.

Koizumi led me out of the tent with his bright flashlight leading the way.

"You see that?"

"What? I don't see anything."

"My point exactly. That's where the dirt road we took here was yesterday. Its gone."

I analyzed my surroundings. Koizumi was right; there was not even a hint the road had ever existed. I couldn't help but get the feeling that something else wasn't right either, but I couldn't figure out exactly what it was. It was just a feeling, I guess.

Yuki stood contemplatively around the ruins of the fire. I decided to seek her opinion.

"What do you make of this?"

"I cannot be certain. I have not encountered anything exactly like this closed space before, though it does seem similar to the space that trapped us during skiing last winter. I do not have enough information to ascertain its structure. I suggest we be cautious."

"Is this Haruhi's doing?"

"Again, I cannot be certain. Unlike the mountain mansion, this space does not bear the hallmarks of the Macrospatial Quantum Existence, nor has there been any attempt to disable me."

"It appears we will have to investigate this ourselves. Koizumi, do you have any ideas?"

"We should first attempt to examine the extent of this space. We have a large coil of rope with us. I'll hold the end of the rope while you hold the coil. Then I can go out and search without the risk of getting lost."

Sounds like a reasonable plan. Though I'm not sure exactly what he expects to find. A bear?

I held the coil as Koizumi walked further and further away until he was well out of my sight, even when I used the flashlight. There seemed to be a sort of strange fog obscuring the landscape, as if no flashlight could possibly pierce past a certain distance into the forest.

More and more of the rope unwound; by now over eighty meters must have been used up. Suddenly, Yuki tapped me on the shoulder.

I turned around. Except it wasn't Yuki; it was Koizumi! Yet I was still holding the coil of rope, and the rope stretched taught ahead of me into the darkness of the forest! Koizumi seemed unphased by this bizarre occurrence.

"It appears I just traveled in a circle, despite the fact that I walked perfectly straight."

Koizumi pulled his rope taught, and my side of the rope was also pulled taught. Somehow, walking straight through the forest looped back into our own camp after a mere eighty meters!

"Yuki, how can this be?"

"There is no real limitation as to the spatial structure and form of a reality. This space may be in the form of a sphere."

"What does this mean for us, though? How do we escape from this place?"

"I still have insufficient information to answer such a question."

So even Yuki is useless in this case. How do we possibly have a chance if even she does not know a way out? Damn it, I can't become pessimistic; every other time we found ourselves in such a situation, we weaseled our way out; we can do it again. Suddenly, I had an idea.

"Wait a minute. What about the stars?"

"What about them, Kyon?"

"We have a decent view of the stars from our camp site. There's a large opening in the canopy here."

"I'm not sure I see where you're going with this."

Koizumi seemed to be legitimately clueless at this point, which surprised me. Perhaps he never learned much astronomy?

"Are all the stars where they should be? Perhaps a variation in the night sky could give us a hint that we need to learn more about this space."

"Ah, a good idea. Wait, I think you're right!"

There indeed was something wrong with the sky. Some constellations were distorted, others not; it was as if someone blew waves through the stars, pushing them around randomly. But all the stars seemed to be there.

"Koizumi, do you think this is Haruhi's doing?"

"The whole situation strikes me as strange. It has the same puzzle-like aspect that the mansion had on the snow mountain, yet in some ways it is dramatically different."

"Should we wake Mikuru?"

"That does not seem like a bad idea at this point; perhaps she can give us her thoughts on our predicament."

We walked back over to the tents. I gently tapped Mikuru's sleeping bag; I had to be careful, lest any noise we made woke up Haruhi.

"Wah... what time is it?"

Mikuru was even more drowsy than I expected. I began to admire the outline of her form in the sleeping bag, but remembering the situation we were in, I snapped out of it.

"Its early, about two. We have a problem."

I waited for Mikuru's eyes to finish opening and then proceeded to explain what we had discovered so far about the space we were in.

"Do you have any ideas? Honestly, we're pretty much out of options at this point."

Mikuru looked worried, rightfully. She paused for a moment--was she trying to contact the future for advice?

"I... I cannot... something is wrong with time as well as space."

"What do you mean, you cannot?"

"I can't contact the future, but its not because its not there... its as if nobody is there to respond."

Mikuru looked ready to burst out in tears, so I attempted to console her.

"Maybe its just a communication issue. Once we get out of this space it'll work fine."

Koizumi was becoming impatient. This wasn't normal for him--but then again, this wasn't a normal situation.

"Well, we do have one more option. What about Haruhi herself?"

Was he suggesting I use my trump card?

"Perhaps the clue to help us out of this situation is not embedded in this space, but rather is Haruhi herself."

There he goes, talking like that again. But what else do we do at this point?

"Should we just wake her up and see what she does?"

"I don't think we have much choice in the matter at this point."

I made a last-ditch attempt to squeeze information out of Yuki.

"Are you sure you cannot come up with any ideas at this point?"

"Whoever created this space clearly did not intend for us to leave it."

"Do you think we should wake Haruhi?"

"That is your decision."

Just as Yuki finished her sentence, I noticed Koizumi walking from tent to tent messing with our clocks.

"What are you doing?"

"Keep your voice down! We're moving all the clocks forward two hours so that Haruhi doesn't suspect that we woke her up early,"

"Ah, a good idea. Though what will she do when it takes two more hours for the sun to rise than she expects?"

"She probably won't notice, to be honest."

Koizumi was right. Haruhi tended to be utterly oblivious to the world around her. Koizumi walked to the last tent, Haruhi's, and very carefully put the time forward two hours.

"I think you should be the one to wake up Haruhi."

I wasn't surprised by Koizumi's suggestion; he is quite adept at ensuring I am always the one to receive Haruhi's wrath. But I accepted regardless.

I tugged on Haruhi's sleeping bag.

"Wahh... Kyon, is that you? Why are you waking me up so early? Wait, its time already? That didn't feel like eight hours! Is everyone already up before me?!"

Haruhi, hyperactive as usual. It was clear she didn't notice anything out of the ordinary--not even the missing dirt road.

"What are you all waiting for? Let's go see if we can find a bear or something!"

It seems she's forgotten her idea of watching the stars in favor of getting lost in this strange space.

"Come on slowpokes, get moving!"

Haruhi was already marching off into the forest with the rest of us reluctantly trailing behind her.

"Koizumi, you're not worried at all about not being able to find our way back to the campsite?"

"If Haruhi wants us to find our way back, we will. If not, there's little we can do about it."

It wasn't long until we had completely lost sight of the campsite. A flashlight pointed in that direction revealed little more than trees and a dim haze. It felt as if we had traveled well over eighty meters--yet if our original observation was correct, we would have already arrived back at our starting point. What's going on?

"We just passed what used to be the camp site."

Yuki whispered in my ear.

"That doesn't make any sense--I didn't see anything there."

"It appears that time's passage in this space is determined by Haruhi's motion through it. Since we left the campsite, I estimate that fifty thousand years have passed."

I looked up at the stars. Of what little I could see through the branches, the constellations were distorted much more than before, with the effect seeming to increase slightly with every step I took.

"If that is the case, why don't we see the trees and plants aging and dying in front of us?"

"The effect seems to be localized to the area beyond the fog that obscures our vision."

"Wait, so what would happen if one of us got separated from the main group?"

"When they returned, the group would likely have not moved, from their perspective."

Koizumi seemed to be interested by this theory.

"If you wouldn't mind, Kyon, I'd like to test this idea."

Koizumi seemed overly confident in Yuki's appraisal of the situation; even she had stated that she didn't have enough information to give certain answers.

"Are you that confident that Yuki is correct? Such an experiment sounds risky."

"What other way do we have to confirm this theory?"

Koizumi seemed to be missing my point. Why should we be tested this theory to begin with?

"Wait a minute, where's everyone else?!"

During our conversation, it seems we had become left behind without either of us noticing. Haruhi was nowhere to be seen.

"Stop right here."

I listened carefully for their footsteps. The forest was silent.

"HARUHI!!"

I yelled as loud as I could, but I got no response.

"This would provide evidence for Yuki's theory; if they indeed experienced time vastly slower than the world around them, they could not hear our voices."

Koizumi responded calmly, as if there was nothing unexpected or wrong about us losing track of the rest of the group. Why the hell isn't he worrying? Is he truly that blindingly trusting in Haruhi's subconscious mind?

We began to wander the forest, searching for Haruhi. I just hoped my flashlight battery didn't run out.

A deep growling noise emanated from behind us.

"BEAR!!"

I yelled in panic and began to run without looking back. Had Haruhi truly summoned such a creature into existence? I didn't think bears even lived in this area.

A huge laugh echoed from behind me.

"Hahahaha, I got you, Kyon! You really thought I was a bear!"

Haruhi's ferocious grin peaked out from behind a large tree. Was Haruhi toying with us this entire time? For some reason, Koizumi didn't seem surprised. Yuki and Mikuru came forward; it seems they had been hiding nearby. Mikuru looked wasted; she certainly hadn't had enough sleep.

"Haruhi, don't you think we should rest for a while?"

"What, are you tired already? Its hardly been an hour since we woke up!"

Haruhi seemed to completely lack a biological clock; she was clueless as to how long she actually slept, nor did it seem like it mattered to her. We continued marching on through the forest.

"Koizumi, what will we do when Haruhi is unable to find our campsite? We have no supplies to speak of; we left everything with the tents."

"Perhaps that inability to discover the campsite will push Haruhi to find the solution to our predicament."

Haruhi seemed to notice our conversation at that point and turned towards us.

"What are you two mumbling about? You should be on the lookout!"

"We were just wondering whether we would be able to find the campsite after all this wandering--after all, we didn't leave any markers for ourselves."

Koizumi's response captured Haruhi's attention. It seemed as if she had never considered that we might actually have to return to our starting point.

"Hmm... I think you're right. Next time we'll head out during the day... for now we'll head back. It shouldn't be too hard to find the tents."

I was surprised; Haruhi had abandoned her quest with not even a complaint. Perhaps logic finally got the better of her. Of course, the rest of us knew our chances of finding the campsite was zero; how would Haruhi react when she is unable to find it?

-

We continued the long march towards the campsite. How many times had we looped over this spherical space so far?

Nearly two hours had passed; Haruhi seemed to be becoming aware at this point that we were hopelessly lost. What would she do?

A clearing seemed to appear out of nowhere--a field of grass stretched before us, though in the dark it wasn't entirely clear how large it was. Haruhi was running ahead, though now we could see her due to the light of her flashlight in the open area.

"Have we exited the closed space?"

"Yes."

Yuki responded promptly. She seemed back to her normal self; fully sure of every statement she made.

"Look up."

Koizumi pointed towards the sky.

As I looked upwards, my jaw dropped. A vast ring stretched across the sky, and stars appeared to be arranged almost orderly. The cosmos had been restructured by forces unknown... how long had we been in that closed space?

"It appears that the universe has changed considerably since we left it. In particular, a ringworld has been constructed from the outer planets."

"Who could have done this, Yuki?"

"Perhaps your far-future descendants are today's masters of the cosmos?"

I was stunned. The universe... remade by man? How was this possible?

"What year is it?"

"It is difficult to tell, given the artificial reorganization of the night sky. I estimate twelve million AD."

Wow. To think this wasn't merely one of Haruhi's creations or tricks--that this was the work of man--it was astonishing. I would have likely been more skeptical of Yuki's claim had I not seen the incredible sight above me. What would the beings of twelve million AD think of me? Would I join them in their glory, or would I be put in a museum as a relic of the ancient past? Would they even recognize me as human?

Koizumi and Mikuru seemed similarly stunned. Haruhi, still running around, seemed completely oblivious.

"Despite what we have seen, I do not think we can remain here. We must return to the past. Should Haruhi realize what has happened, she may not remain stable."

Though I was still in awe at the sight before me, I understood Koizumi; we do not belong in this era. But how can we return?

"I... I do not have authorization to use the TPDD."

Mikuru shuddered as she too came to the realization of our situation.

"We are in the future of your time. That would make it impossible for you to communicate with your future, as they are now in our past. If we are to return, I think you might have to ignore the lack of authorization."

"I... actually... I think... I think we have a contingency for this situation."

Mikuru stopped, as if in deep thought.

"Yes. I can use the TPDD. I can transport us back to this location just before sunrise on Saturday. We should be able to find the campsite from there."

"But wait, what about Haruhi?"

"She will feel the effects of time travel, but we have no other option at this point."

As Koizumi and Mikuru rushed into the field to get Haruhi, I remembered that I had kept my camera in my pocket. I took it out, sat it on a flat patch of ground pointed at the sky, and set it for maximum exposure time. It finished the shot just as the three returned. I hastily put the camera back in my pocket; I wasn't sure what Mikuru would think of any souvenir from the future.

As Haruhi rushed towards me, I heard Koizumi mumble something to Mikuru; only seconds later, I felt the nauseating sensation of time travel. Haruhi, clearly unaccustomed to time travel, tripped over a rock and flew head-first into the ground. I blacked out.

-

I regained consciousness to find Haruhi and Koizumi still knocked out. The sun had risen, and after a quick survey of my surroundings I noticed the tents only a short walk into the trees. It seems that such a long trip through time took its toll on the travelers.

I shook the others awake one by one, finishing with Haruhi.

"Wah... its morning already? How long was I out for?"

Haruhi jerked awake, her eyes going from weary to wide-open in mere seconds.

"Only two hours. There's good news though, the campsite is right over there! I'm amazed that we missed it."

I hoped Haruhi would buy my explanation.

"Well then, the van is probably coming soon. That means we have to pack up! Everyone, get to work, don't be a sleepyhead!"

Thirty seconds ago she was blacked out in the dirt, and now she's commanding us as if we were her peons.

-

Days later, and I am still puzzled as to the events of that camping trip. Koizumi seems to believe now that it was entirely Haruhi's doing, but I don't buy it. Why would she want us to find ourselves millions of years in the future? Yet it was Haruhi's desire to return to our camp that saved us.

Haruhi, being either too ignorant or too lazy to poke holes in our story of that night, bought our explanations without question. Despite getting lost, she still had fun it seems. For Koizumi, at least, that is all that matters. I'm not sure what emotions I associate with that night; maybe a strange mixture of fear, perplexity, and awe.

Perhaps we are better off not trying to understand this strange world.

I wonder how that photo turned out?


End file.
